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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Constructive Behavior

Many of us deal with difficult people using the age-old adage of an "eye for an eye". If we are snubbed, we ignore the other person. If we are disrespected, we in turn show disrespect. If someone cheats us, we cheat them. This mentality is not only self-destructive, but is damaging to the career of a project manager.

When we reciprocate with bad behavior against another, nothing is resolved. By reverting to negative behavior we have fallen into a lose/lose relationship where nobody wins, and we do as much damage to ourselves as we perceive we do to others. What can we do when we feel bombarded by the negative attacks? There are several things we can do to avoid the trap of reciprocating rudeness with rudeness.

I suggest that you read a couple of books I have found to be enlightening. The first is Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" and the other is "Love is the Killer App" by Tim Sanders. Both books offer powerful insight into the human condition and more importantly offer critical advice you can use everyday in all of your relationships.

Some things to be aware of when dealing with others:

Be aware of the Perceptions others hold about you

Keep a balance between your Emotions and your Actions

Seek first to Understand, then be Understood (Stephen Covey Habit)

Be an Active Listener

Diagnose before prescribing

Consult with others you trust before making important decisions

Be Trustworthy

Don't Coerce, but Persuade

Accept the fact that some people will just be Unreasonable

Be the Solution, not the Problem

The best times in life and the worst times are usually tied to our relationships. Do not be a victim of your relationships, but an example of how others should act.

2 comments:

C. G. said...

Awesome and Extremely helpful, I read the book as well, amazingly constructive !!

Hardy
cghardy@gmail.com

C. G. said...

Excellent stuff, the book "Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" is amazingly close to reality and very helpful for bringing out constructive behaviour for Success by Professionals at work place.